People often shy away from helping the bereaved purely because they just don't know what to do. It may appear that the bereaved person is 'getting over it' so you don't want to open up old wounds but they may just be putting on a brave face, as many bereaved people feel that this is what is expected, and inside they could well still be in real pain. The only way you will ever know is by asking and letting them know that you want an honest answer, not to be told what they think you want to hear. At this point you may or may not be in a position to help them, but if you feel unqualified for the task there are practical things you can do to assist them in accessing further support.
